abtw777

Today’s meltdown all started over a cup of coffee. One coffee plus a cake a day is about all my allowance will afford me – or hoard it up and buy something bigger – the way I managed to save for my phone. Anyway, I’d been out for my regular latte and donut and the coffee seemed a bit cold. So I complained and the woman said, ‘people like you should just have coffee at home’. Not pleasant, but on the other hand, not a reason for a complete meltdown. I left the stuff on the counter and walked out. I don’t even remember if I’d paid for it. And now I’ve been here in the closet of my room for the last several hours. ‘People like you should just have coffee at home.’ I should explain that it was the mention of home that got me. Because, you see, I have no home, and never had. Well, perhaps my single mother, whoever she was, had a home when she gave birth to me. I don’t know – although I may find out before too long. But no, otherwise it’s been eighteen years three months in care....

I know what you’re thinking! How come I, A 23-year-old from Essex, England, have ended up here, one of the remotest parts of Africa, to live with this tribe. This tribe who are known for covering themselves in red ochre and otherwise mostly just wear beads. Considered one of the most ‘primitive’ tribes of the world’s remaining indigenous populations (although I’d call them the most wise and sophisticated beings who have ever graced this planet). Well, it started with a documentary. Put an ordinary English family down into the middle of Africa and see how they cope with a radically different way of life. Great telly! The family was my mum, my dad, two brothers and me. To be honest we had a huge winnebago and plenty of supplies. We could almost have avoided any interaction at all with the tribespeople, if we’d wanted to. And that, indeed, was what the family did! Except, that is, for me. So now, having finished school, I’m back. And this time, I’m intending to stay. No mod-c...

It’s just an opinion – and you might think I’m crazy – but I think the world would be a better place if we all just spent more time in bed! Think of all the pointless work that could then be left for another day! And after a while we’d realise that a lot of work really is just pointless and there’s no reason to be doing it at all! Think of how much more rested everyone would be. So there’d be a lot fewer grumpy and anxious people to deal with. And think how much energy could be saved just by staying under the downie and blankets. Most of us were conceived and born in bed and many of us will die in bed. It’s literally the threshold of both life and death. And of course it is also the threshold to that other world that lives within us – the world of dreams and imagination. Going to bed is like being a pearl diver – plunging down into the depths of our minds and hoping to return to the surface with treasure. These are journeys best taken in the nude. Nudity is the uniform of the ...